Wednesday, April 13, 2011

silver surfer and the magic kingdom

isn't it fun? watching what those americans call their "elections"? funny, in a sad, yet ultimately deadly way. american elections are like watching groundhog day, where, every morning after, new votes pop up like a shadowless rodent, over and over again, and swing the election decisively in favour of ... the republican.  elections, as a term, is hardly applicable, but we are encumbered thusly by the strictures of tradition, myth, and jaw dropping ignorance about the electoral system of the united states.

what is fun about the american election is watching all those republican votes magically pop up in the night, like conservative turd-fertilized ballot shrooms, to be brought forth into the light of a new and ferociously democratic sun.  rejoice at these newly found votes. they shall nourish and sustain us. fret not their provenance, for we are with god.

okay, they don't actually say that last part, but that's what a lot of 'em think. one of the remarkable semi-buried truths of american politics is the control of the us electoral system by private corporations, Diebold cum Premier, ES&S, Sequoia, all owned and operated by avowed, if not near rabid christian fundamentalists who see it their duty to "save the babies" and run the country with the ten commandments and that's it.  and they really don't give a shit about democracy. and it ain't just the machine owners; the nutjobs and lackeys are drilled down and embedded at the county level, as this little episode in wisconsin so fruitfully demonstrated.

what? didn't hear about this? New York Chimes not telling you any of this? nope. spend what little time they do attacking anyone questioning the integrity of elections in the greatest democracy in the world! can't have that.  in the american media, well, what we have here is just adorable fuddled-up bungling. that's real, human democracy, fulla mistakes. all having to be corrected to the republican way.  two days after the election, a shady repub county hack squirts +norecount number of votes out of her ass and onto the guy she used to work for, and there's nate "the establishment date" silver, now in the hallowed pages of the new york times, showing everyone why this is entirely reasonable. what a fukkin buffoon.  silver bases all of this nuttin-funny-here "analysis" on turnout, and only turnout, on already jiggered election results -- never addressing the distribution of the votes -- and entirely ignoring the fact that there is literally no way to know where the votes came from.  for all we know, the dipshit clerk could have given prosser 100% of the vote, and nate silver's kindergarten analysis wouldn't have noticed a thing. from poker dope bluffs to election shenanigan cover-ups in the pages of the new york print fit times.  nate is trending establishment up, and with a statistical silver lining.

the us hasn't seen anything approaching a reasonable election since two grand. rube nate doesn't seem to understand this, or does and pretends otherwise.  it may have been that he has even argued against the fact that the electoral system is completely compromised. does he not know this? if not, why not?

oh fuck, who should care about the drip nate? what we out here in the real world want to know is, will the magical appearance of just the right amount of votes to give prosser the "win" without the annoyance and cost of a recount be enough to bring the whole gop-xtian electoral conspiracy to light?

doesn't appear so. magic votes count in the magic kingdom.

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