Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Focksnooze Science and Technology: 99.9% pure

Who can but laugh at what Fox News pumps out as "Science and Technology"? "Has Noah's Ark been found on a Turkish Mountaintop?" Cutting edge stuff, to be sure, right up there with nanobots. Naturally, the Catholic News Agency latched on hard.

Readers are informed that "Chinese and Turkish evangelical explorers" have found Noah's Ark -- for real this time! Not like the last time some dumb-ass jag-off said he found a fictional artifact that had somehow transmogrified itself into real world matter.

And just what the fuck is an "evangelical explorer," anyway? Some glassy eyed dipshit wandering the earth lookin' for shit that ain't there? Funding streams largely unknown.

This new "evangelical explorer" crowd even managed to use "carbon dating" -- real sciencey stuff -- to show that the wood is 4800 years old! Well, by god! That's exactly when the flood is supposed to have happened, according to the Bible. Therefore ... . You see how it all makes sense.

The entire tone of the article is simply amazing, and not just in the sense that they present Noah's Ark and its surrounding fable as unquestionable fact, "It's not 100 percent that it is Noah's Ark, but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it." There is no question as to whether there is or was an ark, but only whether this pile of beams is it.

So, there you go! Despite zero evidence that such a monstrous, devastating event occurred a mere 4800 years ago, a flood filled the world, and dumped a small boat that supposedly housed two of every living land creature on the planet -- except for those dag-blasted dinosaurs, thank goodness -- several thousand feet above current sea level on the gentle, cradling slopes of Urartu. Carbon dating proves it!

Of course, I cannot help but wonder what those Egyptians were doing building all those pyramids when the world was under water? Clearly, they had no idea what was going on.

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